Dreams of Red and Green
by CChan
Summary: *temporarily discontinued* *WIP* AU Tamers Jenrya x Takato, Hirokazu x Kenta, Ruki x Juri ... Includes character deaths, so no clicking the title if it's not your cup of tea.


Nothing much, the plot will pick up later. I guess you can say this is a preview, because I'm thinking of adding stuff to this chapter later. Please gimme some feedback, please please? ^_^

Couples: Jenkato (Jenrya x Takato), Hirota (Hirokazu x Kenta), hinted Ruri (Ruki x Juri)

Warning: CHARACTER DEATHS, AU, spoilers, general depression, suicide attempts, etc.

Inspirations: This fic was spawned from a personal experience of mine, research did the rest. Also, there was Amanda Marshall's "Beautiful Goodbye," and Michelle Branch's "Leap of Faith." Both totally great songs, I suggest you check them out if you never listened to them. ^_^

**Dreams of Red and Green** by Chibi-chan CC

Seventeen-year-old Katou Juri rose with a sigh on her lips. Today was just as dreary as any other day; dark gray clouds presented themselves at her window, and the roar of the surf below penetrated the glass. 

Her roommate, Alice, stirred in her sleep. "What time is it?" she yawned. 

"Around 8 or so," Juri got out of bed and examined her face at her dresser mirror. She didn't look half bad today – the dark lines which had been under her eyes the past few days were slowly fading. So were the long jagged marks on her wrists. She tried a smile. It looked a bit strange on her face and seemed entirely hopeless, but after a few seconds it began to stick. 

"Mmm," Alice murmured. Through the mirror's reflection, Juri could see Alice behind her try to return to sleep but grimace. Alice gently rubbed her abdomen.

"Hey, pass me my bottle?"

Dutifully, Juri grabbed Alice's medication and the glass of water some nurse must have put on the dresser table and watched sorrowfully as Alice swallowed both. Alice's medication was actually a couple of morphine pills, which she took constantly; consuming two was considered a lot, and Alice had just now taken three. 

Alice never went through much detail on her disease, but Juri guessed that she had some type of severe cancer - almost more than half of the people here did. "Here" was actually the Corpsman Hospice, where teenagers with terminal illnesses were sent to in order to live out the rest of their short lives without being a burdening presence to local hospitals or their families. In this hospice, every one of its patients was fated to die. 

Juri almost always decided not to think about *that* part, even though she knew she was being ridiculous. Absolutely no one could escape death. She had learned that the hard way, through her mother. 

Also, Alice's current state made it hard *not* to think about it. Every night now, Juri would wake to find that Alice had trouble breathing or moaned involuntarily of some hurt in her body. Her memories were filled with pain – she had arrived a couple of months before Juri, who had arrived here when she was sixteen. Alice's parents had died in a car crash when she was ten, and her older sister had subsequently gone insane. The blonde haired girl, her hair so blonde it was almost pale, with her sweet smile and expressive grey eyes had been in an orphanage when the cancer had hit. 

That was how Dr. Tsuzuki, the head doctor of this hospice, had explained it to Juri: "…the cancer had hit." It sounded almost as commonplace as if the girl had merely been hit on the head with a baseball or got chickenpox, the way he said it. 

Alice had been immediately taken here, where she had spent most of her time undergoing chemotherapy tests and dealing with probing and dark whispers above her head, smiling the entire time. Juri wondered at the resilience of her younger roommate, and had one day asked Alice how she did it. 

"My sister once told me," Alice had said after a couple minutes of silence, " 'Never feel as if your life isn't worth anything. We have a reason being here.'" The younger girl's eyes looked so distressed and dull that Juri had wished she had never asked. "That was the only thing sensible she said before she began talking about giant chickens threatening to abduct her and use her for medical experiments."

Sometimes the treatment tests seemed to work. But only for a couple of precious minutes would Alice seem to operate like a healthy young girl. 

Now, Alice closed her eyes as she felt the pills immediate effects on her. "Still hurts," she croaked, more to herself than to Juri. 

Juri felt a little guilty. Her pain was also constant, swimming endlessly within her body, but not as harsh as Alice's. _(Alice was so youthful, so refreshingly innocent. She should be worrying about boys…or girls… at this age, not cancer…)_ After a year as her roommate, Juri had begun to feel as if Alice was truly her little sister. 

"Lie still," Juri gently forced Alice back into bed. Recently, Alice had not been able to move at all – if she had to go somewhere in the hospice, like the bathroom, she had to hold someone for support the entire way. Whether it was out of embarrassment or sheer stubbornness or just the effects of the cancer, however, Alice did not consume as much liquids as she should have. As a matter of fact, Juri frowned, Alice barely even *chewed_*, _much less *ate_*,_ anything anymore. But there was nothing to be done. The hospice was only meant to make people comfortable during their last days, not stop death altogether. 

"Can't…Ruki is coming soon." Even as Alice complained, her eyelids started to flutter closed. 

Makino Ruki was Alice's older cousin, and Alice absolutely adored her. Ruki was very devoted- she came every Friday and Saturday evening (Visitor Days were held on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday; today was Friday). Whenever Ruki's visits were expected, Alice was more cheery; whenever Ruki was around, it was hard to believe that you were close to death. 

"She'll be here when you wake up," Juri soothed, "don't worry." She smoothed Alice's bed coverlet a bit fretfully. 

At last, Alice consented to sleep, a small expectant smile on her lips. She looked so peaceful that Juri couldn't resist giving the younger girl a kiss on her forehead. _Sleep darling. To sleep, perchance to dream…_

The brunette placed Alice's battered copy of the Bible next to her pillow in case she woke up early and felt like reading. Ruki wasn't expected in another two hours. 

The thought of the orange-haired, fiery spirited Ruki made Juri smile a little, this time for real. She checked herself again in the mirror, and could have sworn that the pain in her chest area seemed to alleviate a bit. She didn't look nor feel like she was going to die at all. 

- - -

"Katou-san," a voice called to her as she stepped outside the room. "Morning." 

Juri smiled at the speaker. "Good morning, Takato-kun." 

Corpsman Hospice was four floors. Juri herself lived at the third floor as so did Matsuda Takato. He had been halfway up the stairs when he had greeted her. Now, he managed a wry smile as he leaned heavily on the railing. "It could be better, this morning." 

"Oh, do you need help?" Juri was cautious as she said this. Although he himself didn't seem to realize it, Takato was very sensitive of his helplessness and would often do things harmful to his condition, just to prove he was strong. 

Takato, also seventeen, had leukemia. He had fallen out of remission three times, which the doctors, at that point, said it was hopeless to save him. Although against his mother's wishes, his father finally persuaded her after a long debate to follow the doctor's advice in boarding this hospice, which was well known for its fine staff and hospitable care. Juri had first doubted it when she had arrived. Corpsman Hospice sounded like "corpse man" – too close to the reality. Apparently, she found, you couldn't judge a hospice by its name. 

"I might." He placed a foot on the next stair, his shoulders shaking a bit at the effort. His face looked a bit white and gaunt, and he ran his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. Despite the chemotherapy, Takato's hair had been unaffected, only seeming to be thinner than when he had first arrived. Only a few, light pieces of hair near his ears had fallen out. Alice and Juri hadn't even had this type of luck and constantly badgered him about it. There was enough of Alice's hair to make a small ponytail, and Juri's mane of once brilliant chestnut hair was slowly disappearing. She felt that a need for a wig would be urgent soon. 

The steps were long in width, and had five inch plush carpeting, but it didn't seem to help much in softening anyone's condition. Juri held Takato's arm to support him, but as she moved, she thought she felt pain jolt through her stomach at the incline. Juri ignored it. 

"So…how are you, Katou-san?" Takato asked as they slowly began ascending the stairs. Takato always made it an endeavor each day to ask his friends in the hospice how they were and listened quietly, regardless of his own condition. That was one thing that had drawn Juri to him; he was always so polite and optimistic. Each stair took two steps, and they began walking in a sort of march: step, step, stair, step, step…

"I'm fine," Juri lied, the smile still plastered falsely on her face. The pain had returned - a hollow ache in her chest seemed to tighten with each breath. She changed the subject, as she knew that Takato would notice. You could never lie to him and get away with it. "Ruki's coming today." 

Now it was Takato's turn to grin. "Yes, about this Ruki matter. Let's talk." 

"What "Ruki matter?" And what is there to talk about?" They had reached the last step and were now walking down the hallway towards Takato's room. 

"You like her," Takato said calmly, in a matter-of-fact tone. 

"What gave you such a stupid idea like that?" Juri answered, a bit too hastily. Then she checked herself. "Besides, its not as if I'm in much of a position to like anybody." 

The boy frowned. "That's not a good philosophy to lead your life by, Katou-san. Are you going to be so cold that you'll die without ever experiencing love?" 

Juri thought about that a minute, pensive. The meaning of the words had caught her suddenly, like a hard punch in the stomach. _Experiencing love…_

"How did you know?" she asked quietly, when they were almost to his room. Just five more doors…

"Psychic." 

"Seriously."

"Who wants to be serious about anything?" 

"Am I really that noticeable?" Juri asked, slightly frightened of the answer. If Takato could see it, Ruki could see it too…

"Nah, they're all idiots. It's easy to see it though, when…" he trailed off and bit his lip, as if stemming the words tumbling from his mouth. He felt as if he had said too much. 

"Easy to see it…?" Juri asked, halting. They had approached Takato's door. "…You were in love once?" 

Takato stared resolutely forward, chagrined that she had hit upon his deepest secret so accurately. His bottom lip quivered ever so slightly, no matter how fiercely he bit it. "How can anyone love me back…even if I had, once, Katou-san?" His voice sounded deeply bitter, so unlike Takato that Juri looked at him with something akin to shock. "Damn, who would want some…some dependent, foolish *nobody_*_ like me?" 

Juri didn't know what to say, except, "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?" 

The boy looked pained as he opened the door. Or maybe it was the cancer. "Not right now. Maybe not ever." 

He moved as if to close the door behind him, but Juri was faster. His words breaking her shock into crystal shards, she walked in uninvited and plopped resolutely on his bed. Takato sighed and shut the door. He wasn't in the mood to argue, but he hadn't the strength to kick her out and slam the door in her face either. Although _that_ idea was deliciously appealing…

"Alright," Juri said, a hard look in her eyes, "One thing we have to get clear is that you're *not* a nobody."

"That's because you don't know me well."

Juri decided to ignore this. "I know that whatever's wrong, you probably don't want to talk about it _now_, but at least think about my offer? Maybe you'd feel like talking later."  

Takato's only response was a small sigh as he sank into the bed next to her. The walk up the stairs had tired him out a bit, and he was a little worried about what that could mean. Also, if he talked back to Juri, it would only make his situation worse. He wanted to forget that bit of his past, leave it behind. _You can't change the past, so what's the point in bringing it up?_

Then he mentally kicked himself because…because a similar person had said the exact same thing to him before, in an awkward situation. _Oh great, just when I want to *forget* about him, I start thinking about him *more*…_

Juri also sighed apprehensively, her hands balled into fists. Takato had always been the one who said never to hold in your feelings, why was he contradicting himself now? Did he think that that rule didn't apply to him? Trying to compose herself, she looked around at her familiar surroundings. 

As always, Juri was fascinated by Takato's room. Because he didn't have a roommate (something he had requested of his parents and Dr. Tsuzuki, although Juri wasn't sure why) half of the room was littered with paintings and sketches of all kinds. Some were abstract, others still-life, and still others were of a variety that Juri didn't know but loved anyway. Everything Takato drew or painted seemed soft and had some inner light shining from them, seemed *real_*_, as if it could be plucked out from the canvas. One of them Juri looked at right now was a bird, silvery white, with its wings spread apart as if it were soaring effortlessly. Its feathers were gently brushed, as if Takato had spent his time painting each individually, and its fragile yellow beak was open as if in song. It stared at Juri with a small beady black eye, and she felt that if she sat there long enough, the bird would fly out of the canvas altogether and finally trill its song for her to hear. 

Sensing Juri's agitation calming, Takato took this as an opportunity to show his latest creation. "Would you like to see something I did last night? It's still a sketch, but…"

"I'd love to!" Juri interrupted. "You *know_*_ I'm your biggest fan when it comes to your art." 

Takato reached under his bed to pull out a large plastic bin. Juri had seen the box often in the past whenever she had stopped by to say hello. It was an ordinary plastic bin, opaque gray with a blue cover lid, one of the kinds you see at those supply stores for overpriced charges. Quite frequently, Takato would shove it back hurriedly under his bed as if afraid someone would try to grab it and ooze over its contents. In her quick peeks whenever she saw the carton about, Juri didn't see anything at all suspicious; the only thing that piqued her curiosity was a thin, flat *something* wrapped in a ratty sort of brown fabric. Takato *never* let anyone touch anything in the box, especially not the brown item, it was an unthinkable. Whenever Juri remembered that innocuous container, she always thought, _It's almost like he has some dark shame in that box, like a story he's trying to hide under that cloth…_

So it was a surprise to Juri when Takato pulled the storage bin onto his lap and began rummaging through it carelessly; but if you weren't expecting it, you wouldn't have seen how he carefully avoided touching the brown-swaddled object. If that wasn't much of a surprise, what Takato had to show her was even more so. 

Finally finding what he was looking for, Takato thrust the paper into her hands. "Look at this." 

Juri gasped. It was a picture of the Earth…but not the Earth everyone knew. Instead, the continents – Africa, Asia, the Americas, and the others – were reduced to small squares, overlapping the squares of the oceans. It was as if the world was a huge mass of squares filled in an enormous circle. Several ring-like things, similar to the rings of Saturn, but more fluffy-looking as if they were streaks of clouds, surrounded this world, askew at different axes. Even more interesting, small circles, like smooth gray pits, were placed randomly around this digital Earth, ejecting thin shafts of light. The picture itself wasn't colored, but Juri knew, she *knew*, that those lights were purple, mottled with different shades. 

_I dreamt this, this is just like in my dreams!_

"Where did you, I mean, how did you," Juri stammered, "how did you come up with this?" 

Takato looked at her curiously. "Like I said, it was something I did last night. I was just lying in my bed, and an image of this popped into my head." His gaze turned slightly dreamy. "It was as if I had *been* there, as if I was *supposed* to be there. Do you know what I mean?" 

Juri couldn't tear her gaze from the picture. No other picture Takato had drawn affected her like this, not one…well, actually, there *was* another, one that Takato had drawn for her the first day he had met her. It was a picture of a luxuriously furred lion. It was sitting regally on its haunches, gazing up and outward so that wherever Juri placed it, its eyes were always on her. The lion was muscular; although it was sitting, you could still get a sense of its awesome strength, that power packed down tightly into it so that it resonated courage. Its mane was wild, but its large eyes stared at her calmly, almost lovingly. 

_"It's what I thought of the minute I saw you," _Takato had said._ "Something just…compelled me to draw this and give it to you. Like a message."_

She had cried when she saw it. She didn't know why she was crying, but a mash of emotions had run through her at that single picture. 

Scenes of her dream now began to play in her head…so vivid, as if they had happened for real…_the lion gazing at her, embracing her with strong arms, protecting her. This world she now held as a picture in her hands, a flash of desperate desire and longing as she wondered if she would ever get back there…and Takato was there, except more younger, fresher…and Ruki too…and some other people she didn't know…_

"Yes," she said quietly. "Yes, I absolutely know what you mean." 

"Takato, yo," a voice said at the entrance. Both teens started at the sound, and stared at the entrance. Again, Juri gasped. 

There were two boys standing at the doorway, _and they looked like those other people in her dream!_

One of them, wearing a visor for some odd reason, stared at her strangely. "Do I…know you?" 

Juri gulped as both strangers looked at her, scrutinizing closely. "N-no, I don't think so." And with that, she shoved the paper into Takato's hands and raced out of the room amid surprised yells. She had to get out of there, a terrible feeling was rising in her chest, and it wasn't her cancer…

"Oi Hirokazu," Takato groaned at the visor-boy, even as he quickly placed the picture into its plastic container and heaved it under his bed, "what was that?" 

Shiota Hirokazu still had that strange look on his face. "I dunno. It felt like…like I was supposed to know her, you know? But I've never seen her in my life." 

Kitagawa Kenta, the other boy, grinned mischievously. "Maybe you're delusional…and the sight of your face scared her." 

"Very funny Kenta," Hirokazu snapped. But he looked slightly injured. "And maybe I'll sprout wings and fly around butt-naked." 

"I wouldn't mind." 

Takato laughed as Hirokazu's face turned a funny color. "Kenta!"

- - -

You read it! *runs around screaming* Now go review/flame! Go go go! *runs through a wall* O_o


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